There are two parts to this one. The first is that I was thinking that you could have a skateboarding version of a treadmill, or indoor bike, which would just involve a plank on the floor and a fan, blowing in your face. That’s part 1. Part 2 was that I was walking Monty and we came to a bus stop that appeared to be completely deserted except for a large standing fan. It looked for all the world as its the fan were just waiting for the bus, and I had a little chuckle about this. I assumed it had been dumped, unwanted, like a Christmas puppy being left on the side of the road, come February.
I also slightly wondered if I should take it home. Not just because I felt sorry for it, but on the off chance it might still have some life in it. But of course that’s exactly the sort of thing Mrs McG frown upon, and most of the things I bring home get put staring on the skip the next day.
But I still found that I couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and, first, pat the lamp on the head, and, second, flick the large white switch on the front. Don’t get me wrong – I didn’t think that it was going to start, er, fanning or anything. I know the basics of electricity, among many other things. I suppose I just thought the act of turning the switch on and off might feel satisfying. Conversely, I might discover that the switch itself was broken, and that would kill dead any regrets I might otherwise have had later that night about not taking it home.
But just at that moment a figure sprang out of the shadows. He’d been concealed on the other side of the bus shelter – I mean on the road itself, which was bereft of traffic because of the lockdown. I may have emitted a noise at this point, a squeak of some kind. The man, who to me looked Albanian, or at least Balkan, snatched up the fan, and hurried away up the road, despite the fact that he must have been waiting for a bus. He obviously thought I was a threat to him or his fan, although of course I meant no harm to either of them. The reverse, if anything.
It was all quite dramatic. I wish I’d had the chance to make some sort of a quip to defuse the tension (or do I mean diffuse?), although I’ve no idea what would have done the job.
Anyway, there you have it.